Helping Yourself with Outside Resources
In This Chapter
� Requesting help from others
� Joining a weight-loss program
� Checking out very low-calorie plans
� Finding a support meeting
� Opening up to the idea of counseling
If you have trouble sticking to a low-calorie weight-loss plan on your own — and many people do — help is available. Maybe all you need is a “diet buddy,” someone who holds you accountable and depends on you for his or her own weight-loss success. Maybe you just need to sit down with family and friends and let them know how they can best support you (“Mom, I really love your lasagna, but I can’t eat two helpings, so please don’t feel bad if I don’t ask for more.”)
If you don’t have a support network of family and friends, if they don’t seem to be there when you need them, or if the support of loved ones just isn’t enough to keep you motivated and on track, you can turn to one of several different types of programs and groups for support. If you have overeating issues and you feel like no one understands, you may also need the help of a professional counselor.
You really can’t know which type of program or counselor will best serve your needs until you compare a few, see what they have to offer, and perhaps even try out several different types of programs until you find the one that works for you. This chapter lays out your options to help you figure out which type of support you actually need.
Asking Other Folks for Help
How do you know when you need help losing weight and sticking to your weight-loss plan? You just know. You can feel your motivation slipping; you find yourself cheating more often on your diet; you start using any old excuse not to exercise.
Losing the weight is up to you. You can’t pay someone to lose it for you. You can’t swallow a little pill and make it magically disappear forever. You can’t dream it away. However, some people know from experience to reach out for help the minute they decide to embark on a program. Maybe you can rely on help and support from your family and friends, especially with any big lifestyle change, such as losing weight. Maybe you need help from outside your circle of family and friends. This chapter is a good start to help you gather together a support group of people who will be with you every step of the way until you’ve adjusted to all the changes and can live a healthier lifestyle on your own.
When beginning a weight-loss plan, you may just need someone to pay attention to what you’re doing, to understand that it can be difficult at times, and to pat yourself on the back when you’re doing well. You may need to be in the company of others who are struggling with weight issues or, if the roots of your overeating run deep, you may want to consider private counseling (see “Considering Counseling,” later in this chapter). You may need different types of help at different stages of weight loss. Surveys show that people who are successful at losing weight and keeping the weight off are the people who have the most support. Get it wherever you can!
In the following sections, I discuss the pros and cons of involving your loved ones in your weight-loss plans and tell you how to find diet buddies, role models, and even a professional counselor, if you need one.
Talking to friends and family
When you look to others for help and support, your first instinct may be to turn to family members or friends. They know you well, and you know you can trust them. Let your friends and family know what your plans and goals are, and tell them specifically how they can help. No matter how you feel, make your feelings known to the people who are closest to you. They may not know how to help you unless you tell them.
Sometimes, however, the people you count on the most may let you down, especially if they don’t understand what you’re going through. If losing weight means avoiding Sunday supper at your mother-in-law’s house, family members may feel hurt. If losing weight makes you more attractive to other men or women, your mate may surprise you by being less supportive than you expected. And if losing weight means you’re going to outshine your best friend, you may not get what you need from her, either. The people who love you love you just the way you are. They may not want you to change. If that’s the case, you can’t worry about what everyone else wants; you have to be strong enough to take care of yourself.
If ever there was a time to be selfish, this is it. Now is the time to say “No, thanks” to second helpings, no matter who’s offering them. You can use the fol- lowing tips to help you and your friends and family adapt to your new lifestyle:
� Set boundaries. You may have to say no when your partner wants to go out to eat. Explain that it’s only for now; after you feel in control of your eating habits, you can eat out all you want. You may or may not want people to comment on your weight as you go along, so let them know. Now is a time to assert yourself; you have to take control without worry- ing about pleasing everyone else. If you can work up the enormous amount of strength and determination it takes to stick to a low-calorie diet, then you can work up the strength to stand up to anyone who tries to get in your way.
� Clearly explain your needs. Like it or not, you’ll probably have some explaining to do when your diet interferes with other people’s needs. Help your family and friends understand that this diet is something you have to do right now. Let them know that you’re not trying to be antisocial or rude. Tell your loved ones that you don’t want it to be just another diet; you’re trying to make huge, permanent lifestyle changes. This change is going to take a lot of work, and you need positive reinforcement along the way. Don’t apologize for what you’re doing, but explain that you won’t always have to say “no” to everything that’s fun, but for now, you need their understanding.
� Be patient and understanding as well. Your friends and family may not know how to be supportive, and if that’s the case, you have to show them. You have to tell them the types of advice and reminders you want to hear and don’t want to hear. They probably don’t realize that they could be hurting your chances of success by keeping food around the house that you find hard to resist or by putting pressure on you to participate in social events that may sabotage your diet.
� Thank them for their support. Let the people you care about know how much you appreciate their attention and support. Don’t forget to say thank you.
Reaching out to find diet buddies and role models
When your family and friends can’t provide the support you need, you probably need to reach outside your inner circle for help and encouragement. Doing so may just mean looking around the office for someone who may make a good diet buddy or posting a note on a community bulletin board at your church, gym, or school.
Reaching out also means trying to find a role model — someone who has lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off, or someone who never diets but manages to stay in shape. If you know someone like that, try to find out his or her secret! Having the advice of someone who knows what you’re going through and who can offer helpful, unbiased advice never hurt anyone.
Wherever you turn for support, look for people who are living happy, healthy lives. Look for people with positive, hopeful attitudes about themselves, their bodies, and their future success. These types of people are your best role models and your best motivators. Model your own behavior after these people. Don’t be afraid of their success — or your own!
Sorting through Commercial Weight-Loss Plans
Frustrated dieters founded some of today’s most well known commercial weight-loss programs — Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and Diet Center. These programs started small and grew into huge businesses that now incorporate their own lines of food products, motivational tools, instructional materials, and Web-based programs. In addition to the biggies, you can find weight-loss programs in YWCAs and YMCAs, community centers, hospitals, and university medical centers. Any of these programs can help you start and stick to a lower-calorie diet and monitor you as you start to lose weight. The secret to success is to stick with the program if it’s working for you. Read on in the following sections to find the criteria you can use to evaluate a weight- loss program and decide if it’s right for you.
If you plan to lose more than 20 pounds, have any health problems, or take any type of medication on a regular basis, see your doctor for a physical checkup before enrolling in a weight-loss program. Be sure your doctor knows about your weight-loss plans. If you’re pregnant, have certain medical conditions, take certain medications, or have a history of eating disorders, you may not be accepted into a commercial weight-loss program without your physician’s written consent. Otherwise, most programs accept anyone who has 10 pounds or more to lose.
Figuring out whether a commercial program can help you
Every decade or so, government and consumer groups “crack down” on the diet industry, investigating claims made by weight-loss programs and product manufacturers, and often charging these companies with misleading dieters about the safety, effectiveness, and long-term cost of their programs. The diet industry as a whole has been criticized for not living up to its promises of success for most people, and in most cases, the criticism is warranted.
Evidence shows that no commercial weight-loss program statistically has a very high success rate with respect to long-term weight control. Clients lose weight, but they don’t keep it off. That evidence doesn’t mean these programs can’t help you; they can. Weight-loss programs provide structure, personal attention, and valuable tools to help you stay on track when you’re following a low-calorie diet. The better-known programs all have
an educational component to help you discover how to eat a nutritionally balanced, lower-calorie diet and develop better eating habits. And the best programs all recommend exercise as part of an overall weight-loss and fitness regime.
So how do you know when you need to turn to a commercial weight-loss pro- gram? That’s a pretty simple question to answer! If you find that your self- help program isn’t working for you or you start to feel that you won’t reach your goals on your own, turn to an outside program for guidance, structure, and support. When you choose a good program, that program will complement the low-calorie lifestyle advocated in this book.
You can help ensure your own success by taking on most of the responsibility for your own weight control, rather than turning that responsibility over to any outside plan or program. In other words, use the program and apply any helpful tools they provide to your own low-calorie plan, but don’t expect the program to work for you unless you’re doing most of the work! At some point, you’ll have to become accountable to yourself and no one else. At the same time that you’re depending on the advice and expertise of others, you’re discovering how to trust yourself to control your own weight in the future.
Asking the right questions
A perfectly good weight-loss program may not be perfect for you. Check around. Before you join any program, ask these questions about each program you check and be sure you feel satisfied with the answers:
� How long has the program existed? Go with the tried and true.
� What types of professionals provide services to members? Do doctors, dietitians, nurses, and certified counselors participate in the pro- gram? Unless you participate in a medically supervised weight-loss pro- gram (check out “Getting the Scoop on Medically Supervised Programs,” later in this chapter), and depending on your individual medical and psychological needs, you may need to seek additional help from professionals such as medical doctors, psychologists, and registered dietitians outside the weight-loss program you choose.
� What is the total cost of the program, including special food, supplements, or other products? Be sure to get the complete cost of participating in the program upfront so you can decide whether or not it’s affordable for you. A good program doesn’t have to be expensive, and the cost of any individual program isn’t an indicator of whether or not it will work for you. You must be able to stick with the program, however, so total cost is one important factor when choosing from among different programs.
� How often will you check in or attend educational meetings? A good commercial program has weekly counseling sessions or group meetings.
� How is your weight loss monitored? Is there a weekly weigh-in? A weight-loss program must include a weekly weigh-in.
� Will you get help setting positive lifestyle goals in addition to setting food and weight goals? Be sure the program includes behavioral counseling (group or individual) to help you break the bad habits that have contributed to your weight gain.
� Does the program incorporate or strongly recommend physical activity as a means to weight loss and weight control? A sound program always includes or recommends some type of exercise program to complement your diet. Avoid any commercial weight-loss plan that focuses on diet alone.
� Does the program address the needs of your age group? A good weight-loss plan takes your age into consideration when making diet adjustments and recommending exercise programs.
� If you have a physical or medical condition that requires special attention, does the group address your particular needs? If you have a chronic medical condition or any dietary restrictions, be sure a physician or dietitian is involved in the program who is qualified to address your particular needs. If the program doesn’t have any professionals involved, be aware that you’ll have to go outside the program for medical approval of your plan.
� Does the program include a weight-maintenance plan? What are the specifics of this plan? Every good weight-loss program includes a follow-up plan for members to follow after they reach their goal weight. Don’t join any program that ends when you reach your goals.
Picking a suitable plan
Just because someone you know raves about the diet center she goes to doesn’t mean it’s the right place for you. When picking a diet center, you can start with a recommendation, but you really have to do your own research to find a program that suits your individual needs. Before you make your final decision, check to ensure that the weight-loss plan in question absolutely includes the following if you’re to consider it at all:
� The program’s diet plan must be safe and sound. Avoid any plan that recommends fewer than 1,000 to 1,200 calories. At lower calorie levels, getting the nutrients you need from your food is difficult.
� The program’s diet plan must ultimately include a wide variety of foods. If the program requires you to use their own food products in your diet plan, the program needs to have a plan in place to help you return to “normal” eating so you can move on to regular foods that are readily available in the supermarket.
� The program needs to encourage slow, steady weight loss. You want to lose a pound or two each week.
� The program needs to be goal-oriented. Avoid any plan that doesn’t encourage you to set goals and provide strategies for meeting them.
� The program includes exercise recommendations and behavioral counseling. In addition to a nutritionally balanced diet plan, exercise recommendations and behavioral counseling are important facets of the program to help you develop better eating habits.
� The program includes a weight-maintenance plan. Because weight maintenance is much more difficult than weight loss, you don’t want to be part of any program that sets you free after you’ve achieved your goal weight. (See Chapter 10 for more about weight maintenance.)
Just like the health club or gym you decide to join, any diet program that’s going to help you succeed at losing weight has to fit your personal lifestyle because it’s going to be an important part of your lifestyle for some time to come. Whatever type of program you decide to follow has to be conveniently located, open during hours when you’re free to attend, recommend the type of food you’re willing to eat, and be generally user-friendly if it’s to serve you well in the long run. Before you sign up with any weight-loss program, be sure you’re completely comfortable with the cost and methods used and that you also feel satisfied that everyone involved in the program is qualified to do the job they do.
Getting the Scoop on Medically Supervised Programs
You can get help losing weight from a physician in an individual or group medical practice that specializes in weight loss. Physicians who are board- certified in bariatric medicine specialize in obesity, as do endocrinologists and some family doctors. Many physicians also work with registered dietitians to develop individualized diet plans. If you have a chronic medical condition such as diabetes or heart disease, or if you take medication on a regular basis, a medical doctor and/or registered dietitian may be a better choice for you than a commercial weight-loss program.
Medically supervised weight-loss programs that administer very low-calorie diet plans are sometimes appropriate for people who are more than 50 pounds overweight or have a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 30 or more (see Chapter 2 for more about BMI). Medical doctors along with the services of other healthcare professionals, such as nurses and dietitians, supervise these plans.
For very good reason, health professionals monitor very low-calorie diets: The diets are potentially dangerous to your health. Don’t ever go on any type of very low-calorie diet or modified fast unless you’re under the care of a physician who has given you a preliminary medical exam. While you’re following a medically supervised weight-loss plan, you’ll be subjected to frequent blood tests, electrocardiograms, and weigh-ins to be sure that you’re losing weight at an appropriate rate and that your body can handle the stress of this program.
In the following sections, I explain the basics of medically supervised very low-calorie programs.
Going lower than low
Medically supervised weight-loss programs that administer very low-calorie diets are actually medically supervised fasts. If you join one of these pro- grams, your daily diet will consist of mostly or only a liquid formula that pro- vides 800 calories or less. The average weight loss on this type of modified fast is about 3 to 5 pounds a week, or about 40 pounds in a three-month period, which is the recommended length of time most people spend on this type of diet.
Being on a very low-cal diet does have its benefits, beyond fast weight loss. You’re under the constant care of a physician and other healthcare workers. You’ll have no food decisions to make because you won’t be eating much food, and what you do consume is preformulated. A modified fast can help you break bad eating habits and feel more motivated to continue on a regular weight-loss diet. For some people with urgent medical issues related to their weight, a modified fast is the only way to achieve the type of dramatic weight loss necessary to improve their health.
Any good medically supervised program, like any good weight-loss plan, includes a follow-up maintenance program and will eventually reintroduce you to normal eating.
Exploring your options
You find medically supervised weight-loss programs in hospitals, clinics, medical centers, and sometimes through private physicians. Your primary care physician can probably give you a recommendation for a program. All medically supervised programs are similar in nature, but each plan has its own food products and guidelines. If you’re investigating a very low-calorie diet, you’ll probably be introduced to one of the following programs:
� Health Management Resources offers the choice of a very low-calorie diet plan (520 to 800 calories) or a moderately low-calorie diet plan (up to 1,200 calories). HMR plans include liquid meal replacement formulas, prepackaged entrees, soups, and nutrition bars.
To find out more about what this program offers, check out www. hmrprogram.com for a list of medical centers across the United States that administer HMR weight-loss programs. Or call the customer relations department at 800-418-1367, Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
� Optifast offers two very low-calorie plans (800 and 950 calories) and a moderately low-calorie plan (1,200 calories). Like all medically super- vised programs, Optifast includes liquid meal-replacement formulas plus prepackaged soups and nutrition bars. Weekly education sessions are mandatory. Dieters study new behavior strategies and diet habits while using Optifast products to lose weight, before they’re reintroduced to real food.
Although Optifast products are available to purchase online, anyone who wants to supervise an Optifast program for overweight clients must be a licensed physician. For more information and to find an Optifast provider near you, go to www.optifast.com.
Health Management Resources and Optifast are the big names in medically supervised weight-loss diets, but they aren’t the only weight-loss products and programs affiliated with hospitals, medical centers, and physicians who specialize in weight control. Your hospital group or private physician may administer a similar program using products from a different company.
Beware of similar programs and products that are available without medical supervision. Don’t ever put yourself on any diet that provides fewer than 800 calories a day. Even 800 calories is too low for most people for more than a day or two, because your body can’t get all the nutrients it needs at that calorie level.
Seeking Out Support Groups
Sometimes you just need a friend. After your weight-loss plan is in place, all you have to do is follow it, but doing so is often easier said than done. If you’re a compulsive overeater or you have a great deal of weight to lose and you don’t have a good support network at home or at work, you may benefit from joining a chapter of a national support group.
All support groups are fundamentally similar, but they each have their own specific set of rules and expectations of their members. Some support groups are more spiritually centered, some are more regimented, and some are more narrowly focused to specific populations than others. You have to shop around to find a group you’re comfortable with because even within the same organization, each local chapter group has its own group dynamic.
The two main ones are Overeaters Anonymous (OA) or Taking Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS). These two nonprofit support groups provide motivation and friendship to anyone who struggles with weight control. Even if you do have a supportive bunch of friends and family (see “Asking Other Folks for Help,” earlier in this chapter), you may still need the motivation of others who’ve “been there.”
You can find OA and TOPS support groups all over the country, in almost every city and town, holding meetings in free spaces such as church basements and community centers. They don’t endorse or promote any specific weight-loss plan or program. They exist to provide safe places where overweight people can feel free to discuss their ideas and feelings, and seek the help and encouragement of others who fight the same food battles. I discuss these groups and others in the following sections.
Overeaters Anonymous (OA)
OA is a 12-step recovery program for compulsive overeaters that is similar to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. Anyone who is seeking freedom from obsessive overeating is welcome at meetings. The group’s foundation is abstinence from overeating, taking it one day at a time, and recovery on physical, emotional, and spiritual levels. Members pay no dues or fees, but usually make voluntary contributions at meetings to help cover expenses.
To find an OA meeting in the United States, Canada, or one of more than 50 countries around the world, start with the OA Web site at www. over eaters anonymous.org. To contact Overeaters Anonymous, call 505-891-2664.
Taking Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS)
TOPS members provide each other with emotional support, and the organization contributes money for obesity research. Members attend weekly meetings where they weigh in and then attend a group program designed to help them reach their weight-loss goals. The group programs may include handouts, recipes, contests, sharing of personal stories, and lectures by local healthcare professionals.
For more information about TOPS, check out its Web site at www.tops.org. To find a TOPS chapter near you, call 800-932-8677.
Other groups
Although OA and TOPS don’t promote any specific types of weight-loss diets, other support groups, such as Compulsive Eaters Anonymous (www.ceahow. org) and Food Addicts Anonymous (www.foodaddictsanonymous.org), do incorporate a strict food plan, known as an abstinence diet, into their programs.
When you join CEA or FAA, you agree to follow a diet that is free of sugar, white flour, and any products made with refined carbohydrates. Although this type of plan is more about abstinence than about losing weight, losing weight and staying healthy is possible by incorporating the rules of abstinence into a well-planned low-calorie diet.
Working the Web for help with losing weight
Many legitimate and well-run support groups have found a home on the Internet. The best sites are affiliated with professional health or weight-loss organizations or include advice from professionals who are affiliated with such organizations. Peer-led groups are sometimes less reliable with respect to accurate weight- loss information, but they can still provide the friendship, support, and advice. Web-based support groups are great if you can’t make it to regular meetings, can’t find a group meeting in your area, or just want additional access to people with similar issues. Through the message boards and chatrooms you’ll find on these sites, you may even find other people who have similar experiences with whom you can start a small support group of your own.
Many helpful Web sites don’t include live chats or message boards but do offer helpful, reliable advice for calorie counters, fitness buffs, and anyone concerned with weight control. The best weight-management Web sites include the following:
� America on the Move (www.americaon themove.org)
� American Council on Exercise (ACE) (www. acefitness.org)
� The American Dietetic Association (www. eatright.org)
� American Heart Association Fitness Center (www.justmove.org)
� The Calorie Control Council (www.calorie control.org)
� The National Women’s Health Information Center (www.4woman.gov/bodyimage/ index.cfm)
� Overcoming Overeating (www.overcoming overeating.com)
� The Partnership for Healthy Weight Management (www.consumer.gov/ weightloss)
� Shape Up America (www.shapeup.org)
� Something Fishy (www.something-fishy. org)
� Weight Control Information Network at the National Institutes of Health (http:// win.niddk.nih.gov)
Considering Counseling
If your overeating feels out of control, if you’re more than just a little bit over- weight and you know that your overeating is tied to emotional issues, if you suffer from a poor or distorted body image, or if all the self-help strategies you’ve employed just aren’t working for you and you don’t know why, you may want to consider professional counseling. Depending on your particular problems with food and weight control, you can get that type of counseling from a registered dietitian or state-certified nutritionist, or a certified social worker or psychologist who specializes in eating issues.
These types of professionals offer one-on-one counseling and sometimes work with groups of dieters with related issues who may benefit from each other’s experiences and help each other work out the issues that are preventing them
from losing weight and keeping the weight off. To figure out whether you would benefit from counseling, which type of counseling would be best for you, and how to find a counselor, read on.
Selecting the best type of counseling for your needs
If you eat to satisfy physical hunger and you overindulge for the fun of it and that’s why you’ve gained weight, all you probably need to get back in shape is a good low-cal diet and exercise plan, along with the advice of a counselor or dietitian and the support of family and friends.
Eating to satisfy emotional hunger is a different story altogether. You may need the help of a mental health professional such as a certified social worker or psychologist who specializes in emotional overeating.
Understanding nutritional therapy
A registered dietitian or state-certified nutritionist can instruct you about eating well and managing your weight. Unlike a psychologist, who concentrates on the underlying reasons for your eating behavior, a dietitian can focus on your diet and eating behavior in the here and now. Unless a dietitian also has a degree in social work or psychology, however, she can’t go out of her scope of practice to delve too deeply into the why and how of your eating problems. Likewise, a dietitian can outline exercise programs and explain the role of exercise in a low-calorie lifestyle, but only a qualified trainer or physical therapist can help you develop a safe and productive exercise routine.
Getting psychological counseling
Different types of psychological counseling and different types of people who are qualified to do it are available. The type of therapist who deals with eating behavior is usually a certified social worker or psychologist trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). A CBT professional incorporates aspects of
� Cognitive therapy, which helps you to see that your own thinking is get- ting in the way of your weight-loss success because you’re giving your- self a distorted picture of your own life and your ability to take control of your eating and exercise habits
� Behavioral therapy, which can help you change the fact that you react to emotional situations by eating or overeating by substituting other behaviors By integrating the two disciplines, a CBT professional can help you work through and change the negative thinking patterns, feelings, and behaviors that interfere with your ability to have a normal relationship with food.
All good professionals stay within their scope of practice, giving advice only in their area of expertise. A psychologist or social worker can help you with the behavioral and psychological aspects of weight control, while a registered dietitian can help you with a sound food plan, and a certified trainer or physical therapist can help you with your exercise plan.
Finding a therapist
A referral from a friend or family member is usually a good way to find a therapist, but if no one in your immediate circle has successfully worked with a psychologist, social worker, or dietitian, then the next best place to start is with your primary care physician. If your family doctor is someone you like and respect (and if he or she isn’t, maybe you need to find a new doctor), then chances are you’ll feel the same way about other healthcare profession- als he or she recommends. Hospitals also refer healthcare professionals who are affiliated with them.
If these options don’t work for you, try contacting the following groups:
� American Dietetic Association
120 South Riverside Plaza, Suite 2000
Chicago, IL 60606
800-877-1600
To find a registered dietitian in your area, go the ADA Web site at www. eatright.org. Enter your zip code in the box on the left side of the page that says “Find a nutrition professional.”
� American Psychological Association (APA)
750 First St. NE Washington, DC 20002
800-964-2000
The operator will ask for your zip code and use it to connect you to the local referral service. You can also refer to the state association listings at www.apa.org/practice/refer.html.
� National Association of Social Workers
750 First St. NE, Suite 700
Washington, DC 20002
Click on the box in the left-hand column that says “Find a social worker.” Fill in your zip code to search.
Deciding to face your fears
One of the biggest barriers to losing weight is fear. It can be paralyzing. You can’t move forward when you’re afraid to find out what lies ahead. Some food and fitness fears are common:
� Fearing that you’ll be hungry on a low-cal diet
� Fearing that you’ll never be able to eat your favorite foods again
� Fearing that any food that contains fat will make you fat
� Fearing that you won’t be able to stick to an exercise program after you sign up
You probably don’t need intense psychological counseling to deal with these types of fears. You can probably alleviate these fears with the help of a good weight-loss counselor or fitness trainer, or even someone who has been successful at losing weight and keeping it off by watching calories and working out.
But you may have more deeply rooted fears about dealing with overeating and you’ll recognize them because they probably affect other areas of your life. If the following fears are interfering with your ability to take care of yourself, you may want to consider psychological counseling to deal with them effectively.
� Fear of failure. This fear means that you have thoughts, such as “What if I go through all the trouble of rearranging my life to accommodate a diet and exercise program, and then I give up?”, “What if I reach my goal weight but can’t keep the weight off?”, or “What will other people think if I fail?” Remember that people who are successful at losing weight, or anything else for that matter, have often failed several times before they reached their goals. Those people who keep going gather valuable lessons from their failures and eventually earn success.
� Fear of your own success. This fear often means you’re getting in your own way with thoughts that include something like, “What if I lose weight and nothing else changes?”, “What if I lose weight and people think I’m a different person?”, “What if I reach my goals and I don’t like the way I look?”, or “How will this weight-loss plan change my life, and can I handle it?” If you’ve been overweight most of your life, your weight is now a familiar part of you and, in some ways, you’re comfortable with it. You can’t know how you’re going to feel when you lose your excess weight, and that can be scary.
� Fear of change. If you have long-standing routines in your life — what time you get up, what time you leave work, when and how you eat, what you do before you go to bed — making changes may not be easy.
Remember: What you’ve been doing about your weight and your fitness level up to this point hasn’t been working for you, so you’re going to have to make both physical and psychological changes in order to develop a healthier lifestyle.
� Fear of the hidden emotions that trigger your overeating. You may have an emotional appetite; that is, you eat in response to your emotional state. Anger, frustration, boredom, loneliness, and even happiness are all emotions that can trigger your overeating. Review Chapter 9 for more insight into your emotional appetite.
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